You ever leave a doctor’s office feeling like you just got scammed out of a co-pay and a shred of your sanity? Like you went in for help and somehow walked out questioning your own reality? That, my friend, is medical gaslighting. And it’s infuriating.
What Is Medical Gaslighting?
Medical gaslighting happens when a doctor downplays, dismisses, or outright ignores your symptoms, making you feel like you’re overreacting or imagining things. Instead of investigating your concerns, they hit you with a condescending “It’s just stress,” or my personal favorite: “Let’s just wait and see.”
Spoiler alert: “Let’s just wait and see” often translates to “Let’s wait until things get really bad so that you’re in the ER wondering why no one caught this earlier.”
When Does This Happen?
It can happen at any stage of care, but the classic medical gaslighting experience goes something like this:
- You go in with a legitimate problem.
- You explain your symptoms.
- Your doctor gives you a vague non-answer or brushes it off.
- You leave feeling dismissed, confused, and possibly questioning if you’re just dramatic.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
Who Gets Gaslit the Most?
Not everyone gets the same level of “Are you sure you’re really sick?” treatment. Certain groups are far more likely to be dismissed (and if you fall into one of these demographics, this will come as NO surprise to you):
- Women. If you have a uterus, you already know. Women’s pain is often minimized, and conditions like endometriosis, autoimmune diseases, and even heart attacks are frequently misdiagnosed or ignored.
- People of color. Racial biases in medicine mean that Black, Indigenous, and other people of color often have their symptoms underestimated or not taken seriously.
- Elderly folks. If you’re older, doctors may assume your symptoms are just “part of aging” rather than something that actually needs attention.
- People with chronic illnesses. If you have a condition like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, or any mystery illness that isn’t easy to diagnose, you may get the dreaded “It’s all in your head” talk.
- Plus-size patients. If they determine your BMI is “too high” (BMI, a useless measurement) you may face dismissal.
Why Is Medical Gaslighting So Dangerous?
The biggest danger? Delayed or completely missed diagnoses. If a doctor keeps telling you, “It’s nothing,” when it’s actually something, you could be stuck in a cycle of worsening symptoms with no help in sight. It can lead to:
- Unnecessary suffering
- Anxiety, depression, and self-doubt
- Loss of trust in doctors
- Life-threatening conditions going untreated
In other words, gaslighting isn’t just annoying—it’s harmful.
What to Do If You’re Being Gaslit by a Doctor
If your doctor is making you feel like a hypochondriac for simply trying to get answers, don’t just accept it. Here’s what you can do:
- Take Notes Like You’re Building a Legal Case. Write down your symptoms, when they started, what makes them better or worse, and any patterns you notice. This makes it harder for a doctor to dismiss you.
- Be Direct and Ask Questions. If they’re brushing you off, ask:
- “What else could this be?”
- “What tests can we run to rule things out?”
- “If you were in my position, what would you want your doctor to do?”
- Bring a Backup Person. Sometimes, having a friend, partner, or family member in the room forces the doctor to take you more seriously.
- Get a Second Opinion (Or Third. Or Fourth.). If you’re not getting answers, keep looking for a doctor who willtake you seriously.
- Trust Yourself. You know your body better than anyone else. If something feels wrong, keep pushing until you get the care you deserve.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Better Healthcare
Medical gaslighting isn’t just frustrating—it’s dangerous. And if it’s happening to you, it’s not your fault. You’re not overreacting, you’re not being dramatic, and you sure as hell don’t need to just “calm down” (ugh). You deserve real answers and real care.
So advocate for yourself, keep pushing, and don’t let anyone—doctor or not—make you question what you know to be true about your own health.
Check out my Etsy shop for my Patient Power Guide to help you build your self-advocacy muscles.
Have the Audacity – You’re Worth It!
